Wouldn’t You Rather Hangout With a Dog?

WHY DOGS ARE BETTER THAN (WO)MEN

(An anonymous guy’s lament)

Max the Tibetan Terrier

  • The later you are, the more excited dogs are to see you.
  • If a dog has babies, you can put an ad in the paper and give them away.
  • Dogs will forgive you for playing with other dogs.
  • People think fat dogs are cute.
  • A dog will let you put a studded leather collar on it without calling you a pervert.
  • Dogs don’t notice if you call them by another dog’s name.
  • A dog won’t hold out on you to get a new car.
  • If a dog is gorgeous, other dogs don’t hate it.
  • If a dog smells another dog on you, they don’t get mad, they just find it interesting.
  • Dogs like it when you leave lots of things on the floor.
  • On a car trip, your dog never insists on running the heater.
  • A dog’s disposition stays the same all month.
  • It’s legal to keep a dog chained to your house.
  • A dog’s parents never visit.
  • No dog ever put on a hundred pounds after reaching adulthood.
  • Dogs don’t let magazine articles guide their lives.
  • When your dog gets old, you can have it put to sleep.
  • Dogs agree; to get your point across, you have to raise your voice.
  • Dogs like to ride in the back of pickup trucks.
  • Dogs like to do their snooping outside, rather than in your wallet or desk.
  • Dogs are not allowed in Bloomingdale’s or Neiman Marcus.
  • Dogs seldom outlive you.
  • If a dog leaves you, it won’t try to take half your stuff.
  • Dogs can’t talk.
  • Dogs enjoy heavy petting in public.
  • You never have to wait for a dog; they’re ready to go 24 hours a day.
  • Dogs like to go hunting.
  • Another man will seldom steal your dog.
  • If you bring another dog home, your dog will happily play with both of you at the same time.
  • A dog will not wake you up at night and ask you, “If I died, would you get another dog?”

Lucy the Goldendoodle

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About Max's Scout Services and Communications of the Americas, LLC

WRITER / MANAGEMENT CONSULTANT / SPORTS FAN / HUMORIST/ FOOD CRITIC / HORSE AND DOG OWNER / CHRISTIAN / MEMBER OF THE COLORADO GREEN PARTY / ALOHA SPIRIT /

Posted on November 8, 2010, in D O G S, Humor. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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