Wouldn’t You Rather Hangout With a Dog?
WHY DOGS ARE BETTER THAN (WO)MEN
(An anonymous guy’s lament)
- The later you are, the more excited dogs are to see you.
- If a dog has babies, you can put an ad in the paper and give them away.
- Dogs will forgive you for playing with other dogs.
- People think fat dogs are cute.
- A dog will let you put a studded leather collar on it without calling you a pervert.
- Dogs don’t notice if you call them by another dog’s name.
- A dog won’t hold out on you to get a new car.
- If a dog is gorgeous, other dogs don’t hate it.
- If a dog smells another dog on you, they don’t get mad, they just find it interesting.
- Dogs like it when you leave lots of things on the floor.
- On a car trip, your dog never insists on running the heater.
- A dog’s disposition stays the same all month.
- It’s legal to keep a dog chained to your house.
- A dog’s parents never visit.
- No dog ever put on a hundred pounds after reaching adulthood.
- Dogs don’t let magazine articles guide their lives.
- When your dog gets old, you can have it put to sleep.
- Dogs agree; to get your point across, you have to raise your voice.
- Dogs like to ride in the back of pickup trucks.
- Dogs like to do their snooping outside, rather than in your wallet or desk.
- Dogs are not allowed in Bloomingdale’s or Neiman Marcus.
- Dogs seldom outlive you.
- If a dog leaves you, it won’t try to take half your stuff.
- Dogs can’t talk.
- Dogs enjoy heavy petting in public.
- You never have to wait for a dog; they’re ready to go 24 hours a day.
- Dogs like to go hunting.
- Another man will seldom steal your dog.
- If you bring another dog home, your dog will happily play with both of you at the same time.
- A dog will not wake you up at night and ask you, “If I died, would you get another dog?”