Looking for Producers – “Country Corner” Screenplays
Cindy: Silly Alex.
Mike (Robert DiNiro) : David, where is a fresh pot of coffee?
David: Uncle Mike, I do not have one ready.
Mike: What!?! We are out up front. Don’t do ME like that!
Stage lights out
Stage lights on – Morning scene – Scene 2, Act I
Buck (Danny Glover) : Good day, Bob! How are you doing? Say would you explain something to me? Why do bad things happen to good people?
Bob (Bob Newhart or Joe Pesci) : I hear that a lot and we have many good people in this neighborhood. What are you going to do?
Buck: Pray and ask for mercy. Mercy, Lordy, Lordy! Lord have mercy!
Bob: Teddy! Hey, you little rascal!
Bob plays with Teddy the Bulldog behind the cash register stand
In walk the County street sweepers
Bob: Good morning, Carlos. Good morning, Mikey. How you guys doing today?
Mikey (Al Pacino) : I dunno. George W. Bush did it again.
Buck: You know what George Bernard Shaw said, that political necessities sometimes turn out to be political mistakes.
Carlos (Tony Danza) : Bobby, did you hear yesterday what a price of a gallon a gas is now? I don’t know how much it will cost to fill up our street sweepers!
Mikey: The County will go broke and we might lose our jobs.
Carlos: Imagine, we drive 8 hours a day at 12 miles per gallon and …
Bob: It is the darn oil industry!
Mikey: I voted for Baby Bush and look what is happening!
Carlos: Thoreau wrote, the oldest, wisest politician grows not more human so, but is merely a gray wharf rat.
Buck: Where is it going to end?
Bob: You may have read what Disraeli said, in politics nothing is contemptible.
Mikey: I heard we may be changing our trucks to use butane. Or is it propane? I dunno.
Bob: Ya, it would be good to go with an environmentally-friendly fuel. How about clean-burning coal? Yesterday, Al Gore won a Pulitzer for his movie about global warming.
Carlos: Pulitzer? Wasn’t it a Nobel Peace Prize?
Potato chips delivery man arrives through the door and drops a few boxes off his handtruck
Bob: What are you going to do, Willie?
Chips Man (Will Smith): I’ve got 14 boxes to be delivered today.
Bob: Why are you so late? It is now lunchtime. Come back later after 2.
Chips Man: But Bob, I already unloaded the truck and have to drive to La Honda today, too.
Bob: Be reasonable, man. Come back tomorrow or later this afternoon, please. You shouldn’t get in the way of the customers.
Chips Man: But Bob. I need to drop this off to you today.
Mikey: Are you deaf, dumb or something?
Bob: Willie, listen to me man. I cannot have you monkeying around here during the lunch rush. Come earlier in the morning for chrissake.
Another customer walks in.
Samson (Ben Stiller) : Bob, I need some milk. Where is it?
Bob: Just go in the back. The organic milk is on the bottom shelf right next to the whiskey.
In comes the soda delivery person (Jennifer Hudson) whistling a song
Bob: Chiquita, where are you headed with that? Go through the back door, please.
Bob: Ya, Chiquita – She is a Banana Head some days.
Excerpts from Act I of “Country Corner”
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