May-Uh-Culpa (I know I cannot spell Latin any longer)

   The NBC TV comedy series “My Name Is Earl” has always made me laugh. It has now come to the point when I must make my own list of bucket-list items in order to make “it all good.”

  Therefore, please forgive me y’all…

“My Name is Art”

A simple list of “pay-backs” due as of August 2011

after almost 58 years of misdeeds…

 

  • Attempt to repay my sister (over $4 Grand) for the Cadillac she fronted for me that was destroyed/ totaled by Mel’s armored pickup truck when it was parked at the corner of Spring and Vine last winter in the county’s  “designated hot zone” high crime area.
  • Apologize profusely to my daughter for mentioning to an acquaintance that she was “fat.”
  • I hope my Blood Brother will forgive me for the time I kicked him in the crotch when he was only 13 (I was “fighting for my life” in our living room when I was only 7). But it was really in self-defense!
  • May God bless my Stepsister “A” for when I cursed her for taking my great-grandfather’s four fifty-yard-line Notre Dame Football tickets for five consecutive USC games played in South Bend. The Fighting Irish ended up losing four of the games… go figure…
  • Perhaps my Best Friend will make amends with me for the time when I told someone else a “secret”.
  • Do some good for my Best Man for when I put a broadcast e-mail mentioning his pre-marital behavior as a freshman in college with the young woman I had taken to the 1972 senior prom.
  • Repay in double to a vegetarian veterinarian for writing a bad check for drastically needed medical help for my pedigreed, service-assistance dog, Teddy.
  • Make up to my first Ex-Wife for stating/joking in public that I married a nymphomaniac.
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WRITER / MANAGEMENT CONSULTANT / SPORTS FAN / HUMORIST/ FOOD CRITIC / HORSE AND DOG OWNER / CHRISTIAN / MEMBER OF THE COLORADO GREEN PARTY / ALOHA SPIRIT /

Posted on August 3, 2011, in Humor, Spirit. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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