May-Uh-Culpa (I know I cannot spell Latin any longer)
The NBC TV comedy series “My Name Is Earl” has always made me laugh. It has now come to the point when I must make my own list of bucket-list items in order to make “it all good.”
Therefore, please forgive me y’all…
“My Name is Art”
A simple list of “pay-backs” due as of August 2011
after almost 58 years of misdeeds…
- Attempt to repay my sister (over $4 Grand) for the Cadillac she fronted for me that was destroyed/ totaled by Mel’s armored pickup truck when it was parked at the corner of Spring and Vine last winter in the county’s “designated hot zone” high crime area.
- Apologize profusely to my daughter for mentioning to an acquaintance that she was “fat.”
- I hope my Blood Brother will forgive me for the time I kicked him in the crotch when he was only 13 (I was “fighting for my life” in our living room when I was only 7). But it was really in self-defense!
- May God bless my Stepsister “A” for when I cursed her for taking my great-grandfather’s four fifty-yard-line Notre Dame Football tickets for five consecutive USC games played in South Bend. The Fighting Irish ended up losing four of the games… go figure…
- Perhaps my Best Friend will make amends with me for the time when I told someone else a “secret”.
- Do some good for my Best Man for when I put a broadcast e-mail mentioning his pre-marital behavior as a freshman in college with the young woman I had taken to the 1972 senior prom.
- Repay in double to a vegetarian veterinarian for writing a bad check for drastically needed medical help for my pedigreed, service-assistance dog, Teddy.
- Make up to my first Ex-Wife for stating/joking in public that I married a nymphomaniac.