Commercial Airline Improvements (?!?) During the Last Thirty (30) Years

Looking for the Red Carpet Club? You will not find it. United Airlines does have a United Club.

Did you check out the “duty-free” in-flight store? Stewardesses modeling apparel, jewelry, pearls, watches, medallions, shoes, religious relics, parachutes, food-to-go, wine and booze, baked goods, luggage, turbans, scarfs, hats, native Indian garments, Mormon garments, pet supplies, toys, pacfiers, plugs, and binkies? Good ideas yet to be implemented. Magazines? Books? Air Phones? Neck and shoulder messages? More good revenue-generating schemes not yet implemented.

Do you enjoy sitting between a pregnant woman and a sumo wrestler? No problem, right…

You would think that the airplanes would have a public address system without static by now…

You really like a healthy, clean, HEPA-quality breathing air supply? Don’t fly zone then.

Did you think the pilot and purser’s voices sounded like cartoon characters? It may be a recording of Toy Story 4…

Need first aid supplies? Go fish…

Looking for more leg room? Lose weight!

Do you like to lean backwards in your seat? Watch your back!

Note: No longer is cash “legal tender” aboard an aircraft. Thou must pay for everything by credit or debit card…