Inaugeral Issue of The Dailey Sun-Times Newspapers’ “The Dailey Planet”, dated 7-11-2014
The Dailey Planet – Friday, July 11, 2014
Bulletin: Local News Hot Flashes
- Christine Haack celebrates another birthday. She is ___ today. Let’s just say that Chrissy is over 50.
- “Save Luke Fund” formed to help disabled resident with medical, rehabilitation, and legal costs. Helpful people may submit non-deductible donations in care of First Bank on Grand Avenue (located south of Kim’s Consignment, Turtles, Taco Bell, and Bradley-Sinclair; north of the new Sweet Coloradough) to Account # 2671-22-.
- Glenwood Hot Springs closed down. By 10:00 p.m. the medicinal pools were closed on July 8th. Tourists from New Jersey were locked out and forced to leave for Moab, Utah, instead. The young boy’s mother also complained how expensive tickets cost her family
- Today is “7-11 Day” at the Glenwood Springs Colorado 7-11 on Grand Avenue at 11th Street. Stop in for special surprises, like free Slurpees.
- Catholic Charities get a boost. The Archdiocese of Denver is in the process of hiring a new employee to handle administrative matters in their office inside the original 1885 St. Stephen’s Roman Catholic Church at Grand Avenue and 10th Street. Financial tax-deductible donations are greatly appreciated. May God bless you and all the American citizens and immigrants they help with the grace of Our Lord Jesus Christ.
- Argentina win this Sunday in World Cup soccer from Brazil to be celebrated by Pope Francis I in Rome and by fellow Roman Catholics, other believers, and non-believers at the 19th Street Bar and Diner. It is believed that there are more descendants of the Nazis on the German National Team who defeated the Brazilians 7-1 last Tuesday. Meanwhile, the “Dutch boys” lost the other world semifinal 0 to 0 because Argentina scored on four post-extra time penalty kicks.
The motto of “The Dailey Sun” is ‘Felix! Felix! Felix!’ or ‘Happy, happy, happy!’
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- Gas-convenience store robbery Sunday, July 6, at approximately 3:45 a.m. More information to follow from Sinclair Oil. Perhaps over $2,000.00 stolen!
- Homesteaders ousted last Monday. As warned, over a dozen Americans were rousted from the camp they have been stewarding for over one year. It is rumored that the daily use of cannabis clouded the residents’ judgment. This was perhaps the last camp of its kind in the United States. Homesteading was very popular and socially acceptable during the first two centuries of American life.
- Luke is no longer in critical condition. Sun-Times and The Dailey Planet Reporter “Lois Lane” writes that Luke has many injuries, has come out of a coma, and will remain in an undisclosed Denver hospital for a longer period of time. Luke was helicoptered from Valley View Medical and Cancer Center on the night of Wednesday, July 1, following a 15 to 30-foot fall from the ill and in-disrepair Grand Avenue-State Highway 82 Colorado River pedestrian bridge. Onlookers reported that police may have waited over 3 to 23 minutes after Luke’s fall to call for ambulance assistance.
- Joe continues his European pilgrimage. Although the Dailey Sun-Times’ Publisher was unable to travel farther east of the Rocky Mountains on June 9th, his best man Josef Paul Kocy visited Vatican City during the week of July 6th. J. Paul’s photograph of St. Paul’s Tomb is included in this issue, below. It is written that St. Paul’s head is elsewhere.
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D. A. D. Publishing & Associates
(of the Western Slope of the Rocky Mountains within the United State of Colorado)