Category Archives: Humor

Getting Wiser by Getting Older ~ Wisdom & Wellness

The Dailey Sun~Chronicles

 

Volume VIII, Issue 80                      July 29, 2019                          ***** Edition

 

Dateline: Anywhere

 

Become Content

  1. Stop Complaining
  2. Change Your Perspective
  3. Be Thankful
  4. Don’t Compare Thyself to Others
  5. Lower Your Expectations
  6. Put People Before Things
  7. Do Away with Wish-lists
  8. Focus on Today
  9. Savor the Little Things
  10. Eliminate Excess

 

Practice Affirmations

positive words

 

Good Time Management: Avoid the unnecessary, inefficient, fear, indecisiveness, trivial tasks, distractions, disorganization, perfectionism; repeating, pleasing everyone, lack of rest, poor health habits, unmotivation, and holding onto the past.

 

Handling and Recognizing Emotions Well (sophisticated wisdom reaction)
emotions

 

Develop a High Emotional Intelligence:

high emotional intelligence

 

Recognizing Triggers that Lead to Negative Consequences (wisdom reaction)

 

Practicing Mindfulness

  • A mindful attitude is non-judgmental, patient, non-striving, and ablity to let-go.
  • One can do mindful eating, too. Concentrate on the sensations, selecting nutritious foods, and enjoying all.
  • Mindful breathing means getting comfortable, observing each breath, and being non-critical.
  • Mindful walking involves being aware of surroundings and keeping rhythm.

mindfullness

 

Becoming More Resilient (Reduce Stress)

  1. Experience More Positive Emotions
  2. Express Gratitude
  3. Hand-on Serenity Exercises
  4. Move-on to Positive Emotions
  5. Practice One Scary Thing Per Day

resilience

Get Mentally Tough

I like #3 a lot!
mental toughness

 

Utilize Breathing Exercises (Mindfulness Methods)

breathing

 

Use Coping Strategies

coping strategies

 

Adopt Any of 12 Things Happy People Do

  • Express Gratitude
  • Cultivate Optimism
  • Learn to Forgive
  • Avoid Overthinking and Social Comparison
  • Practice Acts of Kindness
  • Nurture Social Relationships
  • Increase Focus Experiences
  • Develop Strategies for Coping
  • Savor Life’s Joys
  • Commit to Your Goals
  • Take Care of Your Body
  • Practice Spirituality

 

Reframe Thoughts into Happiness

positive

 

 

Turn Personal Weaknesses into Strengths

Inconsistent >>> Flexible

Disorganized >>> Creative

Obnoxious >>> Enthusiastic

Stubborn >>> Dedicated

Emotionless >>> Calm

Shy >>> Reflective

Weak >>> Humble

Indecisive >>> Patient

Impatient >>> Passionate

Arrogant >> Self-Confident

Intimidating >>> Assertive

 

Act When You Are Feeling Down (Sad, Disappointed, or Depressed)

  • Be Spiritual
  • Be Sociable
  • Move and Exercise
  • Nurture Yourself: Eat, Shower, Read, Dress Up, Get Creative,
  • Engage Your Brain
  • Do Things that Make You Happier
  • Accept Medical Help

 

Practice a Well-Designed Life

The Eight Dimensions of Wellness:

  1. Physical
  2. Psychological
  3. Spiritual
  4. Intellectual
  5. Financial
  6. Occupational
  7. Environmental
  8. Social

 

Do Healthy Anti-Aging Things:

Try Retinoids, Alpha-Hydroxy Acids, Hyalukonic Acids, Anti-Oxydants, Peptides, Deramides, DNA-Repair Ingredients, and Lighteners

anti aging

 

 

Silence Negative Thinking

stop neg thoughts

 

Discard Distorted Conceptions and Bias

untwist thoughts

 

Eliminate Things That Block Happiness

blocking happiness

 

Move Beyond Your “Comfort Zone” and Learn: Deal with challenges and problems. Achieve new skills, and expand “Comfort Zone.”

 

Have a Growth Rather Than a Fixed Mindset

growth mindset

 

Improve Memory

(i.e. Writing things down, Chunking data, Little and often, Make it a story, Create acronyms, Say things out-loud, Create silly sentences, Practice, Focus, Test yourself, Ask why, Get enough sleep and water)

better memory

 

Practice Healthy Habits of Highly Productive People

effective

 

Distress Tolerance Skill Development

distress

dbt-distress-tolerance-skills

 

Be Creative

creativ

creative

Manage Anxiety

anxiety

anxiety

 

Relieve Stress

 

 

Just Say “No”

 

Letting Go

letting go

 

Develop Good Habits of the Mind

  1. Perseverance: Focus, Complete Tasks, Remove Goal Obstructions.
  2. Empathetic Listening
  3. Manage Impulsivity: Remain Calm, Thoughtful, and Deliberate.
  4. Flexibility
  5. Metacognition: Aware of thoughts, strategies, feelings, and effects on others.
  6. Striving for Accuracy: Setting high standards, checking, and finding ways to improve.
  7. Questioning and Problem Solving
  8. Applying Old Knowledge to New Situations
  9. Communicating Clearly with accuracy and thought.
  10. Gather Data through various sources
  11. Creating, Imagining, and Innovation.
  12. Responding with Wonderment and Awesomeness: Having fun, being intrigued, undaunted by phenomena.
  13. Taking Responsible Risks: Competent, Adventuresome, and using new things.
  14. Finding Humor.
  15. Thinking Independently.
  16. Remaining Open.

 

Deal with Confrontation Well:

confrontation

 

Observe Good Nutrition

  1. Intake
  2. Avoid foods that may induce dementia: White Foods (sugar, bread, rice, etc), Processed Food (meats, cheese), Foods containing Nitrites or Diacetyls (margarine, beer)

 

Flex Muscles of Spiritual Fitness

spiritual

 

Watch Your Language and Speak Positive

positive

 

Learn Effectively

eg. Incident Prevention: Understand Cause and Effect; Identify Root Causes: Apply Skills and Knowledge; Get the Big Picture; Cooperate with Others; Set Goals; Build a Working Memory; Deliberate Practice; Chunking Large Bits of Data; Explain Training Techniques; Improve Memory; Repetition; Self-Test; Adapt to Unusual Situations; Build Safe Habits; Drive (enough sleep, food) Healthy; Learn from and teach others; Humble Self-Confidence; Apply wisdom daily; Relax and Reduce Anxiety; Prioritize Tasks; Self-Controlled Behavior;

 

Practice Sensory Calming Techniques
sensory calming

 

 

. . . and Develop Your Sense of Humor

 

 

Copyright MMXIX – Max’s Scout Services & Communications of the Americas

94062-2448 // DaileySun@outlook.com

~ for musement only ~

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Tessellation Day

The Dailey Sun~Chronicles celebrates science and it’s applications in art, mathematics, and quilting, too . . .

 

Volume VIII, Issue 41                                  6 – 17 – 2019                           ***** Edition

 

Happy Tessellation Day!

 

This Monday recognizes “tessellation” Given all the splendid examples in nature and mathematics, this is a fine world to add to your vocabulary

 

A tessellation of a flat surface is the tiling of a plane using one or more geometric shapes, called tiles, with no overlaps and no gaps. In mathematics, tessellations can be generalized to higher dimensions and a variety of geometries.

 

The beauty of tessellations according naturally is truly remarkable.

world T Day

 

vegetation

sunflower

seashell

turtle shell

mc escher pring

geometry

tes·sel·la·tion

[ˌtesəˈlāSH(ə)n]

NOUN

tessellations (plural noun) · tesselation (noun) · tesselations (plural noun)

  1. the process or art of tessellating a surface, or the state of being tessellated.

2. an arrangement of shapes closely fitted together, especially of polygons in a repeated pattern without gaps or overlapping.

honeycomb

quilting patterns

pine apple

 

                                                                        =          =          =

 

 

copyright MMXIX – Max’s Scout Services & Communications of the Americas, LLC –

from Woodside, California 94062-2448

“The Dailey Sun~Chronicles”

 

A BOOK OF ANGELS – – – ready for sale . . . first printing cost = $64.95 + shipping + tax (9% California) + handling

A BOOK OF ANGELS

over 160 pages

plus over 90 full-color illustrations of angels

 

 

RubensPeterPaulStStephen

Parody Edition: Jokes for 2029

The San Dailey Sun~Chronicles

Parody Edition

Headlines from the year 2029… *

 

  • Japanese scientists have created a camera with such a fast shutter speed, they now can photograph a woman with her mouth shut.

(hey! Settle down, I just repeated it.  I didn’t write it!)

 

  • Ozone created by electric cars is now killing millions in the seventh largest country in the world, “Mexifornia” formally known as California.  White minorities still trying to have English recognized as “Mexifornia’s” third language.

 

  • A Spotted Owl plague threatens northwestern United States crops and livestock.

 

  • One baby was conceived naturally, scientists are stumped.

 

  • Couple petitions court to reinstate heterosexual marriage.

 

  • The last remaining Fundamentalist Muslim dies in the American Territory of the Middle East (formerly known as Iran, Afghanistan, Syria and Lebanon).

 

  • The area of Iraq is still closed off; nuclear physicists estimate it will take at least 10 more years before radioactivity decays to safe levels.

 

  • France pleads for global help after being taken over by Jamaican Rastafarians.

 

  • Castro Jr. finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be imported legally, but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking.

 

  • George Z. Bush, adopted son of Jeb Bush, says he will run for President in 2032.

 

  • The United States Postal Service raises the price of a first-class stamp to

$12.89 and reduces mail delivery to Wednesdays only.

 

  • Revealed in an 85-year, federally-funded $75.8 billion study: Diet and Exercise are the key to weight loss.

 

  • The average weight of Americans drops to 250 lbs.

 

  • The State of Massachusetts executes its last remaining conservative.

 

  • The Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals violates their civil rights.

 

  • Donald J. Trump receives another pardon from President Clinton.

 

  • The average height of NBA players is now eight feet, seven inches.

 

  • A new federal law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly swatters and rolled-up newspapers must be registered by January 2036.

 

  • Congress authorizes direct deposit of formerly illegal political contributions to campaign accounts.

 

  • A Capitol Hill intern is indicted for refusing to have sex with a congressperson.

 

  • The IRS sets the lowest income tax rate at 55 percent.

 

  • Florida voters are still having trouble with voting machines.

 

george carlincomedian from heaven

=                  =                  =

 

* (Jokes originally written in 2005)

Laugh – Come ‘on Sourpuss, Laugh it Up to Your Health

The healing power of laughter
by The Dailey Sun~Chronicles

Laugh!

It is great for the mind, body, and spirit.

It may seem odd to find humor when facing a serious issue. Research with cancer patients have shown that laughter can help lift the spirit and connect with others.

 

Many benefits of laughter . . .

St. Augustine wrote “Serve the Lord with Laughter”

 

Humor heals the physical body, strengthens the spirits, and is great for mental health.

 

Laughter may help you feel better about yourself and the world around you. Laughing leads to physical changes in the body.

 

After laughing for just a few minutes, feeling better may last for hours.

 

Physiologically, laughing has multiple benefits:

 

1)    Enhances oxygen intake.

 

2)    Stimulates both the lungs and heart.

 

3)    Relaxes the muscles throughout the body.

 

4)    Triggers the release of endorphins, which are the body’s natural painkillers.

 

5)    Eases digestion by soothing the stomach muscles.

 

6)    Relieves pain.

 

7)    Balances blood pressure.

 

8)    Improves mental functions.

 

9)    Enhances alertness.

 

10)    Boosts creativity.

 

11)    Improves memory.

 

trump tweets

Dailey Sun~Chronicles “News You Can Use” “No Rumors, No Fakes, Just the Facts, Jack!” “All the Good News”

 

Volume VII, Issue 24                                   10 – 24 – 2018                         ***** Edition

What Has Been Happening in America

 

This issue is a tribute to my dear daughter and birthday girl.

October 24th also happens to be the annual anniversary of United Nations Day.

 

Along the North Atlantic Coast . . .

Dateline: Norfolk, Virginia

A woman reports to police that a man broke into her home, made them breakfast, took a shower, and washed his clothes.

Dateline: Washington, D.C.

The Trump Administration announces plans to reduce taxes for middle-class, build the Mexican Wall with Saudi Arabian blood money, give Ivanka Trump designed and Chinese-made goods to African Americans, and not to ever lie or mislead Americans.

Dateline: Greenville, S.C.

Police caught a student with a knife that she used to snort cocaine before class.

Dateline: Greenville, N.C.

Police sought treatment for a pit bull who dug up a loaded .38-caliber pistol.

Dateline: Lehigh Acres, Florida

Senior found dead with his head stuck in an electric car window.

                                                            =          =          =

In the North American Wild West . . .

Dateline: Gunnison, Utah

School district brushed aside a claim of sexual abuse as a case of “boys being boys.”

Dateline: Los Angeles, California

A former Republican congressional aide, Michael Kimbrew, has received a sentence of 18 months in prison for accepting a $5,000 bribe.

Dateline: Laramie, Wyoming

“The World Needs More Cowboys” is the battle cry of the University of Wyoming’s half a million-dollar marketing campaign.

                                                            =          =          =


witch
                                                                           

Remembering the “Witch Hunt”

This Halloween Week

 

In the American Heartland . . .

Dateline: Willard, Ohio

Two men who hopped a freight train were arrested after they phoned 911 to report that their train was moving too fast.

 

Dateline: Marquette, Michigan

The county accepted a $65K grant to keep an eye on the U.S. – Canada border.

 

Dateline: Peru, Indiana

State Police busts have netted what they call “Donald J. Trump-shaped” ecstasy pills.

                                                                        =          =          =

Elsewhere in the United States of America . . .

Dateline: Kansas City, Missouri

Over 70 community and religious leaders are requesting that all politicians stop vilifying immigrants.

 

Dateline: CNN

Debate continues about the deep meaning of the president’s chosen vocabulary particularly during his rallies. The Washington Post and others have lost track of how many instances of misinformation, falsehoods, and lies have been promoted.

 

 

 

copyright MMXVIII – Max’s Scout Services & Communications of the Americas, LLC –

“The San Dailey Sun~Chronicles”

More Lies and Misleading Statements Spoken in Montana

Wednesday, October 17, 2018, from Missoula

Really, a rally in a hangar not on an air force base?
1. “I love these hangars. I love a hangar. There’s nothing like a hangar. You get out of the plane, you walk over, and we have massive crowds,” says Pres. Trump.
I admit that I would probably buy a T-shirt with the phrase “I love a hangar” on it. Also, away we go!
2. “I wouldn’t want to be the one that walks into your house and says, ‘Give me that gun.’ Right? Nobody has the courage to do that. But Matt is going to protect your Second Amendment.”
Here Trump is relying on one of his oft-repeated falsehoods about those who support gun control measures: That their ultimate goal is confiscation of all guns, including from law-abiding citizens. While there is the occasional radical voice within the gun control movement who suggests something like this, no mainstream Democratic politician has come close to saying it. In fact. both Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton expressly rejected the idea that they had any interest in any sort of gun collection program. Trump knows that. He just doesn’t care. Because the prospect of a politician coming to your house and taking your gun is something that works for him politically.
3. “The unemployment rate just fell to the lowest level in over 50 years.”
4. “More Americans are now working than ever before.”
This is also true but with an asterisk. And the asterisk is that there are just more Americans today than there were 50 years ago. So, yes, more are working. Because there are more of them.
5. “That was one of those quickies. I love those states. You know, the polls close. Polls have just closed in the state of Montana. Trump has won Montana.”
The 2016 election ended 710 days ago.
6. “We like the — we like the — it’s just a flowing. They do comma. They don’t do — they do a comma.”
I genuinely have no idea what the hell he is talking about here. But it is flowing. With the comma. You always do the comma.
7. “In a beautiful ceremony at the White House, we proudly swore in the newest member of the United States Supreme Court, Justice Brett Kavanaugh.”
Technically, Kavanuagh was sworn in as a Supreme Court Justice days earlier by Chief Justice John Roberts and retiring Justice Anthony Kennedy. The ceremony Trump is referencing here was purely for show

8. “And come Election Day, Americans will remember Kavanaugh and they will remember all sorts of other things, because that was a shameful act.”

There’s no question that the Republican base was fired up in the wake of Brett Kavanuagh’s confirmation fight. Trump — and Republicans — are hoping this passion keeps burning for the next 18 days.
9. “This will be an election of Kavanaugh, the caravan, law and order, and common sense.”
Ads — and polling — suggest this is going to be an election about health care.
10. “But a lot of money has been passing to people to come up and try and get to the border by Election Day, because they think that’s a negative for us. Number one, they’re being stopped. And number two, regardless, that’s our issue.”
OK. So the President of the United States is suggesting money is being paid to people traveling in a caravan headed to try to gain entry into the United States for baldly political reasons — which, I think, he is suggesting are that it will make immigration an issue in the election and that Democrats think they win on that issue. I mean, I think? There’s a whole lot of logic jumps happening here.
11. “The one thing, they stick together, but they wanted that caravan and there are those that say that caravan didn’t just happen. It didn’t just happen. A lot of reasons that caravan, 4,000 people.”
Again, Trump signaling — with zero proof — that Democrats are somehow behind the caravan of immigrants moving toward the US.
14. “Do you ever see when the fake news interviews them? And then they try and cut it, but they — they’ll go to a person holding a sign who gets paid by Soros or somebody, right? That’s what happens.”
Another common Trump conspiracy theory: The news seeks out protesters — and these protesters are paid for by George Soros, the liberal billionaire. This is, um, not true.
15. “But did you see the signs? They’re brand-new. They’re beautiful, the black-and-white signs. Everybody has the same size, right from the finest printer in Washington. Do you think the people — those are not signs made in the basement. They were all identical.”
Trump can keep saying that the protests against Kavanuagh were not organic. But that doesn’t make it true.
16. “It’s a whole — hey, look, there’s a lot of rigged things going on in this country, you know about that. There are a lot of rigged things going on.”
These lines are at the heart of Trump’s appeal. The system is rigged against you, normal person, and only Trump will tell you the truth about it. And only Donald Trump will fight for you, the little guy, against these elites who think they are smarter and better than you.
voterepDem
17. “Obstruction. You know, I just walked in, and a big, strong guy grabbed me. And he was almost crying. It happens every time. And many times. And he said, sir, ‘Mr. President, thank you so much for saving our country.'”

Two thoughts here: a) How did Trump go from attacking the Mueller probe for looking into whether he obstructed the investigation to a big guy hugging him? b) Trump says that big, strong guys hug him and thank him for saving America outside every rally. Does this actually happen?

18. “He’s — he runs eight times. ‘Sir, I won five elections.’ I said, well, you got me there. I ran once, and I won one election, but it’s the presidency, right? That’s right.”
Always, always, always the obsessions with how he is better and special.
19. “That’s all the time we need to make America great again. Make America great again. Is that — is that maybe the greatest slogan in the history of runs?”
Many people are saying that. Believe me. Big time.
20. “It is incredible the deep state where they don’t even look at her. Isn’t it incredible?”
To be clear: This is the President of the United States openly alleging there is a group of people embedded within the federal bureaucracy who are operating a conspiracy to protect Hillary Clinton and to get him, somehow.
21. “But I like acid-washing, because that really says it. She acid-washes 33,000, so that nobody can ever find — but they’re around some place. I think that maybe — maybe they’re at the State Department.”
It is true that Clinton deleted roughly 50% (or 33,000) of the emails she sent from her private server as secretary of state. Those emails were determined, by a Clinton lawyer, to be personal — and with no professional relevance. As to the idea that the State Department has them, I have no idea what Trump is talking about. Remember that he asked the Russians to try to find those deleted emails during the summer of 2016.
22. “But maybe they’re at the State Department. They could very well be at the Department of Justice, if you can believe that whole deal. But we’re just being quiet. We’re being quiet. Do you know why? There’s been no collusion.”
WHAAAAAAA? So the deleted Clinton emails are either at State or Justice? What proof of this does Trump have? (He doesn’t have any.) Also, why is “collusion” mentioned here???
23. “If I ever called the Russians, the first one to know about it would be the state of Montana, and they wouldn’t be too happy. Can you imagine? Let’s call the Russians? It’s a disgrace.”
The allegation is not that Trump “called” the Russians to help with a state. Its that the Russians, believing that Trump would be a better president for them, ran a campaign of misinformation and interference to try to bring about that result. The intelligence community unanimously affirmed that happened. Trump has never been willing to accept it.
24. “And look at all the women for Trump signs. Here we go again. It’s the same thing. Everyone says, but will he get the women?”
Trump won 41% of women in the 2016 election, according to exit polling. His job approval among women is 28% in the October CNN-SSRS poll.
25. “Everybody else had cloth on their face, and I probably would have, also, cloth that was water, right, wet, on their face. She sat there, hey, what else is new? That’s the way she is.”
In which Trump touts his wife’s toughness because she didn’t put a cloth to her face when smoke entered the cabin of her plane due to a mechanical error. (Everybody was safe.) Remember that for Trump, toughness is everything.
26. “No, Mike is great. We have — we had such great people. We had such great people. And a lot of talented people. And the end result is this is where we are. And we’re doing a lot of good.”
Trump logic flow: Mike Huckabee → great people → talented people → we are where we are → doing a lot of good.
27. “And you walk around in those conditions, you can’t fake it. You can’t fake it. So that’s one good thing. Nobody ever says that any more. That’s one of the — might be one of the best things that’s happened to me in a long time.”
Trump here is touting the fact that people don’t ask whether he wears a toupee any more because he walks around areas devastated by natural disasters and there is a lot of wind blowing. Yes, seriously.
28. “Barbara Walters interviewed me. Do you mind if I play with your hair? Do you

remember that? And then numerous people have done that. But that’s OK. But the choice could not be more clear. Democrats produce mobs. Republicans produce jobs.”

He said these two thing back to back. There are no sentences I omitted. Barbara Walters on his hair to Democrats producing mobs.
29. “Well, it’s big sky. I guess there’s a reason for everything, right? No, it’s just — I got out and I’m looking — I’ve been here many times — but I got out and I’m looking — I say, that really is big sky.”
[looks around, wondering if anyone else is hearing this]
30. “Democrats have become the party of crime. It’s true.”
[narrator voice] It’s not.
31. “I said, I’m going to put that in. I’m going to say that when I make speeches. Nobody’s ever challenged it. Maybe they have. Who knows? I have to always say that, because then they’ll say they did actually challenge it, and they’ll put like — then they’ll say he gets a Pinocchio.”
This is some meta-Trump right here. He explains how he told his aides he was going to start calling Democrats the party of crime, then says no one has ever challenged that assertion, then says they actually have, then says he doesn’t care if it’s true or not.
32. “But Greg is smart. And by the way, never wrestle him. You understand that? Never. Any guy that can do a body slam, he’s my kind of … he was my guy.

Rep. Greg Gianforte pleaded guilty to assaulting a reporter who was asking him questions. HA HA HA HA. Wait, what the actual hell?

33. “But I’ve done so many campaign — I’m so far ahead. But — but we’ve started the wall. And it’s moving. And we’re going to get it, but get me some Republican votes, please.”
One order of world salad, please.
34. “He’s — now, it’s hard for a Republican to win in California, because it’s become, like, crazy. But all of a sudden are Republicans making big progress. It’s going to be very interesting to see what happens in that race.”
Trump is talking here about the California governor’s race. A Los Angeles Times poll that came out two days ago showed Democrat Gavin Newsom with a 23-point lead over Republican John Cox. So….
35. “Justice Kavanaugh, number one in his class at Yale”
Yale doesn’t have class rank.
36. “And in the case especially of Justice Kavanaugh, the lies that were made up, the stories that came out, and he didn’t — he honestly — I’m pretty good at this stuff — he honestly never heard of this stuff. He never heard of it. It was a big con job. You’ve heard me say that. It was a con job.”
Remember that Trump initially said that Christine Blasey Ford, who accused Kavanaugh of sexually assaulting her when they were both teenagers, deserved to be treated with respect and have her story told. Now, of course, he believes her to be part of some sort of secret Democratic plot to oust Kavanaugh. The evidence for this claim? There is none.
37. “Remember? Remember Jon Lovitz, the liar, remember Jon Lovitz? Yeah, yeah, I’m a businessman, that’s right. I went to — yeah, yeah, I went to Harvard. Yeah, that’s right. I went to Harvard. I’m a businessman. That was, like, a female version of Jon Lovitz.
I DO appreciate Trump’s reference to a 1980s “Saturday Night Live” sketch in which Lovitz played Tommy Flanagan aka the Pathological Liar. I’m not sure a man who has said more than 5,000 false or misleading claims in his first 601 days in office should be evoking a pathological liar.
38. “Remember, he challenged me to a fight, and that was fine. And when I said he wouldn’t last long, he’d be down faster than Greg would take him down.”
The President of the United States saying he would punch out the former vice president of the United State faster than a member of Congress assaulted a reporter. All totally normal stuff here!
39. “He’d be down so fast. Remember? Faster than Greg. I’d have to go very fast. I’d have to immediately connect.”
“I will be so presidential, you will be so bored.” — Donald Trump
40. “He’s a handsome, wonderful father.”
41. “A little bit like Justice Kavanaugh, you know, really a very fine, high-quality, handsome guy.”
Two descriptions of former White House physician Ronny Jackson in which Trump says he is “handsome.” This is yet more evidence of how much focus Trump puts on whether people look the part. He views hiring for his administration as casting — and you have to look good to make it on the Trump Show.
42. “I came up with the name Pocahontas, and they once said you must apologize for that. I said, why? Well, it’s not nice what you’re doing. I said, OK, I’d like to apologize to the real Pocahontas.”
Classic Trump. Deriding Elizabeth Warren by referring to her as a famous Native American woman isn’t his problem, it’s the problem of the political correctness police.
43. “By the way, they keep saying, will he do well with women? Remember last time? They said the same thing. We did — we did very well with women. I think I probably won because of women, I hate to tell you, men.”
He got 41% of women’s votes. So, he definitively did not win because of women.
44. “Do you know that we have the hottest economy, as big as we are? We were going down. We have the hottest economy on Earth. People are moving back in.”
Economy! So hot right now!
45. “Because we are American and our hearts bleed red, white, and blue. You know that.”

The Bottom 25 College Football Rankings

It is the beginning of a long season. Tom Fornelli of CBS Sports offers a weekly ranking of college football teams.

We are likely to see some upsets.

https://www.cbssports.com/college-football/news/bottom-25-college-football-rankings-florida-state-tennessee-check-in-after-week-1/

ramsColorado State Rams Prepare for their next game versus Arkansas

On Saturday evening (9-8-18), the Rams scored a touchdown with less than a minute to play… defeating the Razorbacks of Arkansas 34-27; thus escaping the Bottom 25.

Outside the Pubs: How the Brits are Speaking of America

“Talk about throwing a spanner in the works[1], those Americans have really picked themselves a tosser[2] haven’t they?”

“Bob’s your uncle![3] There are not enough bog rolls[4] in the world to clean up their shambles[5].”

“Have you seen how the all too chuffed [6] wanker[7] came across the Atlantic and attempted to gut[8] NATO, too?”

“Blimey! Toff[9] Trump has lost the plot[10] and It seems he cares more about his dodgy[11] Russian business partners than our long history of Western civilization alliances.”

“Those same bloaks knicked[12] their election! They got shagged.[13]”

“You know your onions[14]. The nutter[15] punter[16] has knocked the sod off[17] the prime ministers of at least three countries in less than a fortnight[18].”

“Absobloodylootely![19] I’d say so and how that it is not at all ace[20] to be misogynistic, racist, egomaniac, and xenophobic.”

“The greedy plonker[21] may be off to Bedfordshire[22] with the chav[23].”

“Gobsmacked[24] I am!”

“Couldn’t their citizens become knackered[25] and make the oaf redundant[26]?”

“No, not even one off.[27] Their system works wonky[28], unlike ours.”

“What now, is  the tactless, belligerent fool always on the pull?[29]

“Or must he see a nasty man about a dog?[30]”

“I’d wager more than a tad[31] if his mother was alive,

she’d spank his pompous arse.[32]

stop

Plonker!?!

= = = =

[1] Screw up = “Throw a spanner in the works”

[2] Idiot = Tosser; a.k.a. Daft Cow

[3] There you go! = “Bob’s your uncle”

[4] Toilet paper = Blog Roll

[5] Mess; Plan gone wrong = Shambles

[6] Proud = Chuffed

[7] Idiot = Wanker or Knob-Head

[8] Tried to devastate = Gut

[9] Upper Class Person = Toff

[10] Gone crazy = Lost the Plot

[11] Suspicious = Dodgy

[12] Stolen = Nicked

[13] Screwed = Shagged

[14] Being knowledgeable = Know your onions

[15] Crazy Person = Nutter

[16] Prostitute’s Client = Punter

[17] Pissed-off = Sod-off

[18] Two weeks = Fortnight

[19] Yes! = Absol-bloody-lutely!

[20] Cool = Ace

[21] Idiot = Plonker

[22] Going to bed = “I’m off to Bedfordshire”

[23] White Trash = Chav

[24] Amazed = Gobsmacked

[25] Tired = Nackered

[26] Fired from a job = Made redundant

[27] One time only = One Off

[28] Not Right = Wonky

[29] Looking for Sex = “On the Pull”

[30] Do a deal or take a dump = “See a man about a dog”

[31] Little Bit = Tad

[32] Rear End / Fat Buttocks = Arse

= = = =

copyright 2018

Max’s Scout Services & Communications of the Americas, LLC

“for musement only”

 

That Was the Week That Was

The San Dailey Sun~Chronicles                                                                                                                                                                                       “News You Can Use”

“No Rumors, No Fakes – Just the Facts, Jack!”

“Newspapers are worth at least the price you pay; if it is free, it is worth nothing”

Volume VII, Issue 15                       Sunday, July 29, 2018                                  ***** Edition

 

In the North American Wild West . . .

Dateline: Corpus Christi, Texas

A woman dressed as a cockroach attended a city council meeting to bring attention not only to her but an influx of rodents in an area where new vegetation was planted.

Dateline: Seattle, Washington

This city maintains its ‘king’ status for the third consecutive year with more than 60 construction cranes erected, which is more than 30 than in any other city in the USA.

Dateline: Coeur D’Alene, Idaho

The local resort estimates that 30,000 golf balls have accumulated on the floor of the lake bed near a floating golf green.

                                                            =          =          =

Along the North Atlantic Coast . . .

 

Dateline: Plaistow, New Hampshire

A man inside Planet Fitness’ “judgment free zone” tries to reason with police after being apprehended for exercising naked.

 

Dateline: Albany, New York

A series of cybersecurity drills are being conducted to see how vulnerable the state’s election system is to hacking.

                                                            =          =          =

In the American Heartland . . .

Dateline: Fort Smith, Arkansas

An ordinance outlawing public dancing on Sundays since 1953 (for 65 years) has finally been repealed.

 

Dateline: Paw Paw, Michigan

Police were told of a man was shot in the neck while searching for deer antlers. He was charged for filing a false felony report when it was learned that the ‘victim’ fell on his own arrow.

 

Dateline: Lexington, Kentucky

Two confederate statues were relocated to the town cemetery after being located downtown for more than 130 years. Confederate Secretary of War John Breckinridge and General John Hunt Morgan have already found their final resting places.

                                                                        =          =          =

Elsewhere in the United State of America . . .

Dateline: Wailuku, Hawai’i

Due to the Kilauea Volcano eruption on the Big Island, the Hawaii Animal Rescue Foundation has taken in more than 80 displaced dogs.

dogs - Copy

 

 

 

copyright MMXVIII – Max’s Scout Services & Communications of the Americas –

“The San Dailey Sun~Chronicles”