Monthly Archives: April 2010
Laughing With The Hollywood Squares
Dateline: Twentieth Century Television
These great questions and answers are from the days when ‘Hollywood Squares’ game show responses were spontaneous:
Q.. Paul, what is a good reason for pounding meat?
A. Paul Lynde: Loneliness!
(The audience laughed so long and so hard it took up almost 15 minutes of the show!)
Q. Do female frogs croak?
A. Paul Lynde: If you hold their little heads under water long enough.
Q. If you’re going to make a parachute jump, at least how high should you be
A. Charley Weaver: Three days of steady drinking should do it.
Q. True or False, a pea can last as long as 5,000 years.
A. George Gobel: Boy, it sure seems that way sometimes.
Q. You’ve been having trouble going to sleep. Are you probably a man or a woman?
A. Don Knotts: That’s what’s been keeping me awake.
A.. Rose Marie: No wait until morning.
A. Charley Weaver: My sense of decency..
Q. In Hawaiian, does it take more than three words to say ‘I Love You’?
A. Vincent Price: No, you can say it with a pineapple and a twenty..
Q. What are ‘Do It,’ ‘I Can Help,’ and ‘I Can’t Get Enough’?
A. George Gobel: I don’t know, but it’s coming from the next apartment.
A. Rose Marie: You ask me one more growing old question Peter, and I’ll give you a gesture you’ll never forget.
Q. Paul, why do Hell’s Angels wear leather?
A. Paul Lynde: Because chiffon wrinkles too easily.
Q. Charley, you’ve just decided to grow strawberries. Are you going to get any during the first year?
A. Charley Weaver: Of course not, I’m too busy growing strawberries.
Q. In bowling, what’s a perfect score?
A. Rose Marie: Ralph, the pin boy.
Q. It is considered in bad taste to discuss two subjects at nudist camps. One is politics, what is the other?
A. Paul Lynde: Tape measures.
Q. During a tornado, are you safer in the bedroom or in the closet?
A. Rose Marie: Unfortunately Peter, I’m always safe in the bedroom.
A. Marty Allen: Only after lights out.
Q When you pat a dog on its head he will wag his tail. What will a goose do?
A. Paul Lynde: Make him bark?
Q. According to Ann Landers, is there anything wrong with getting into the habit of kissing a lot of people?
A. Charley Weaver: It got me out of the army.
Q. It is the most abused and neglected part of your body, what is it?
A. Paul Lynde: Mine may be abused, but it certainly isn’t neglected.
A. George Gobel: Get it in his mouth.
Q. Who stays pregnant for a longer period of time, your wife or your elephant?
A. Paul Lynde: Who told you about my elephant?
A. Charley Weaver: I’ll lend him the car, the rest is up to him
A. Charley Weaver: His feet.
Q. According to Ann Landers, what are two things you should never do in bed?
A. Paul Lynde: Point and laugh
The Masters Weekend Begins
Dateline: Thursday, April 8, 2010 – In North America
Sports, music and cooking are my favorite diversions. Now that the college basketball tournaments and opening days of big-league baseball are over, my attention is focused on the annual first major golf championship of the season – The Masters.
Ever since I woke up, the television and Internet were tuned in on the events surrounding Augusta, Georgia. Hopefully, Tiger Woods return to the PGA tour and Nike commercials does not overshadow the achieveements of others’ golf games. Already during the first round, 60-year-old Tom Watson is the leader in the clubhouse with a five-under-par 67.
Popular American lefty Phil Mickelson, Englishman Lee Westwood, and Korean Y.E. Yang are also tied for the lead. Brisk winds and thunderstorms may figure into the rounds being played by others, like Tiger, who are still on the course.
Issa Wehab is not playing in The Masters this year.
Issa has great form particularly considering that he just finished his rookie season on the Country Corner golf team.
Three of us are determined to get Issa’s father out of the store at least one afternoon a week and get Bob hooked on golf. Bob is such a hard worker that we believe he would enjoy making the effort to learning new skills that he can use to relax and stay in-shape the rest of his life.
Right now, it looks like a couple of twenty-something near-scratch golfers (Dave and Jason) that shop at Country Corner will play a bestball-net “skins” game against the likes of the pair of this writer and Bob. We plan on teeing off by May First.
We were going to get a neighborhood curling team going, but a spring-summer-fall sport would be more appropriate these days. Besides, Dave and Jason know how to get us tee times at all the best golf courses in Northern California.
Can anyone win 18 major championships like Jack Nichlaus has done? I think his record is safe at the top.
ESPN’s Thoughts of Stanford Defeating U Conn
Dateline: San Antonio Texas’ Alamo Dome
NCAA Basketball Championship Game:
Undefeated Huskies vs. once-beaten Lady Cardinal
The Stanford Cardinal have wanted another shot at Connecticut ever since a 12-point loss in late December. Stanford coach Tara VanDerveer and her players believe they have a shot at spoiling the coronation party in the national title game.
SAN ANTONIO (AP) — The Stanford Cardinal have wanted another shot at Connecticut ever since a 12-point loss in late December.
They’ll get their chance Tuesday night with the national championship and UConn’s place as one of the most dominant teams ever at stake.
The two teams have developed a cross-country rivalry over the past three seasons after Stanford beat UConn in the 2008 national semifinals. The Huskies haven’t lost since, beating the Cardinal twice during their NCAA-record winning streak — including in last season’s Final Four.
“We’ve kept them in the back of our minds,” Stanford center Jayne Appel said. “They know what we’re going to do, we know what they’re going to do.”
Sure, UConn is on the greatest run in women’s college basketball history, and, yes, they’ve torn through this NCAA tournament. But Stanford coach Tara VanDerveer and her players believe they have a shot at spoiling the coronation party in the national title game.
With a few tweaks here and there from their December loss to the Huskies, the Cardinal feel they can pull off the monumental upset, ending UConn’s 77-game winning streak and preventing its seventh national championship and second straight unbeaten season.
“We’ll do some things different, but a lot of the things that we need to do are easy to fix,” Stanford forward Kayla Pedersen said.
For 22 minutes the Cardinal hung right with UConn in December. Stanford shot 57 percent in the first half and held a 40-38 advantage at the break — the only time this season the Huskies trailed at halftime.
“I’ve watched the game several times and I know that we’re capable of beating them in 20 minutes,” VanDerveer said. “At the same time the second half of the game got away from us. We’ve probably focused more on how it got away from us.”
No team has been able to put together a 40-minute effort against UConn during its streak — each of the Huskies’ victories has been by double digits.
In the Stanford game, UConn jumped out to a 19-10 lead before star Maya Moore got in foul trouble. The Cardinal made their run with the three-time All-American on the bench.
Getting off to a good start will be critical for Stanford.
“That’s really the key for us,” VanDerveer said. “Against this team we got to stay in contact with them. We’re not a super athletic, pressing, trapping team that can come back from being down 15.”
Tuesday’s championship will mark the sixth time the No. 1 and No. 2 teams in the final Top 25 poll will meet for the title. The last came in 2002 when UConn beat Oklahoma in San Antonio.
“This is what we’ve worked for and what we dreamed of since preseason,” Moore said. “We have a really good Stanford team in our way and it doesn’t take a whole lot to motivate us right now. There is so much on the line right now with our individual and team goals.”
Despite having to get through Oklahoma first, the Cardinal were already getting ready to play UConn. Appel said that she and a few other players packed UConn scouting reports in “the bottom of our suitcase.”
“We did a lot of things wrong, according to our scouting report. We weren’t very smart,” Appel said. “We watched this morning and we were like, ‘Gosh, that was so stupid,’ in the way that we played. It was like we didn’t even read the scouting report.”
Unfortunately, the scouting report doesn’t show exactly how well the Huskies have been playing lately. UConn’s turned up its stellar defense in the NCAAs, holding opponents to just 42 points a game. The Huskies are on pace to shatter tournament records for defensive efficiency.
Also, UConn has made a habit of dismantling teams in rematches. Last year, the Huskies met Louisville in the championship game for the third time that season and turned it into a rout within the first few minutes.
“There are some advantages and disadvantages for playing somebody twice on both sides,” coach Geno Auriemma said. “They’re playing us, and they know they lost and it got away from them badly in the second half. We know we played great in the second half. Hopefully, we can do that again.”
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Dyngus Day Week (4-5 to 4-10-10) Milestones
Dateline: Easter Monday / Dyngus Day
Location: Kendall County, Texas
Environment: Hill Country, Partly Sunny, 79 degrees, RH 82%, UV Level at 7
Yes, Dyngus Day is being observed in Indiana this Monday. Not only is it the opening day of the baseball season and local political campaigns, but loyal Polish Catholics and business associates gather at places like M.R Falcon’s Lodge in South Bend for beer and sausage, hot potato salad, refried pinto beans and other food stuffs in order to celebrate the end of the Lenten Season..
Monday, April 5, 2010
- Financial markets ae closed around the world like in Hong Kong, Europe and Australia in observance of Easter Monday.
- The President of the United States is very busy at RFK Stadium throwing out the first pitch for the Washington Nationals. There will be no opportunity for any Republican rebuttal.
- NCAA Men’s Basketball Championship in Indianapolis: Butler University Bulldogs versus Duke Blue Devils.
Tuesday, April 6
- San Antonio’s Alamo Dome is the site of the NCAA Women’s Basketball Championship. It is a classic battle of the east versus the western United States of America. The 34-1 Stanford University Cardinal challenge the #1 undefeated University of Connecticut Lady Huskies. Gametime 7:30 p.m. CDT.
- Treasury Secretary Tim Geithner and Indian Finance Minister Pranab Mukherjee launch a partnership in New Delhi.
- NCAA Women’s Championship in San Antonio: Stanford Cardinal versus UConn Huskies.
Wednesday, April 7
- This is World Health Day!
- Strikes expected at seven Dublin, Ireland hospitals to protest pay cuts.
- Strike in Sweden demanding better for food workers
Thursday, April 8
- President Obama and President Dmitry Medvedev due to sign a nuclear arms reduction treaty.
- Tiger Woods and other golfers tee off at the first round of the Masters.
Friday, April 9
- Second round of the Masters in Augusta, Georgia.
- U.S. reports February’s factory orders and wholesale trade data.
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NCAA Basketball Champs to be Crowned in San Antonio and Indiana
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